


Is he a Nerd?

by Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire



Series: Di’s Carry On Countdown 2020 [15]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Butter Series, Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), Everyone hopes Baz isn't a hipster, Fantasy, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gift Fic, Hipsters, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Is Baz a nerd then?, It's Pining Oblivious Simon Snow Style, M/M, Oblivious Simon Snow, Or is he a hipster?, POV First Person, POV Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce Knows, Penny is too smart, Perhaps one will never know, Poor Simon doesn't know, Prompt Fic, Simon doesn't, Simon is a tad confused about things, SnowBaz, Star Trek References, Star Wars References, Watford Eighth Year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:41:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27756319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire/pseuds/Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire
Summary: [Mature] 18+ Simon and Baz. (Mature for the language.)Set Watford 8th year.During a conversation with Penny, Simon starts wondering whether or not Baz is a nerd or something far worse - a hipster.Part 1 ofButter SeriesCOC 2020 Day 14, DEC 8: Constellation(s).Inappropriate humour.
Relationships: Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Di’s Carry On Countdown 2020 [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023208
Comments: 16
Kudos: 35
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2020





	Is he a Nerd?

**Author's Note:**

> Dear reader, I hope you will enjoy this silly ficlet.💙 Part 1 of **[Butter](https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030383) Series**.  
>   
> My friend [satsukii (anawkwardbibliophile)](http://satsukii.tumblr.com) on Tumblr came up with one particular snowbaz head canon and I just had to run wild with it.  
>   
> (Not sorry at all. Jan your brain makes me happy and I repay your brilliance with my silliness.)  
>   
> This is a gift for [simonsnowsfreckles](http://simonsnowsfreckles.tumblr.com) on Tumblr.  
>   
>  **Larn** , this is for you. 🥺🥺🥺 I hope you will like it [insert the blushing froggie emoji x3] 💙💙💙 (Jan totally clocked this was a fic for you. 😂😂😂)
> 
> * * *
> 
> As always so many thanks and love to my amazing friends and betas Blue ([mybluebucketofsnow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybluebucketofsnow/pseuds/mybluebucketofsnow)), [shushu_yaoi_lj (llamapyjamas)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shushu_yaoi_lj/pseuds/shushu_yaoi_lj) and [Theawkwardbibliophile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theawkwardbibliophile/works).  
>   
> Thank you for all the help and support with this COC and everything I write and for being awesome friends. 💙
> 
> * * *

# SIMON

“Simon, do you want to go and see the new Star Wars movie with me this weekend?” Penny asks me during breakfast. I think she always tries to talk to me while I'm surrounded by food.

Penelope thinks it's because I have an unhealthy fascination with food. But in truth, it's because I'm starving every summer.

So whenever I see food that I'm _allowed_ to eat, I will. And I am not too proud to take a second helping, filling my plate to the brim. (Need to eat while I can.)

“Star Wars?” I ask in disbelief.

”Yes,“ she nods, “as you know, The Force Awakens comes out on Thursday.”

I didn’t. Why would I?

“Isn’t it for nerds like Star Trek?” I ask through a mouthful of sour cherry scones drenched in butter.

Technically there's an _unlimited_ supply of butter, but there are only so many packets — 250 g each. (I'm not sure how they are thinking here.) So I only take one during breakfast because I don't want to seem rude.

“I can assure you, Simon, that Star Wars is much cooler,” Penny tells me with a very serious and offended face. “There are no nerdier people than the ones that are fans of Star Trek.”

“Okay,” I agree, not really that invested in this conversation.

Nerds are nerds. What’s the difference at the end of the day?

“I saw Baz Pitch at the cinema last summer standing in line for the Star Trek movie,” Penny continues and I listen with more interest now since it’s about _Baz_. “He was wearing a snug Starfleet outfit and those sodden pointy ears. A bigger nerd one can not find.”

“Baz isn’t a nerd,” I argue. “He’s _cool_.”

I’d like very much to have seen him in this snug outfit Penny speaks of and with pointy ears. Is that how angels look like, I wonder?

And what is a star fleet clothing for? Is that a whole constellation of the night sky painted on the fabric, like in that Normal cartoon about a fairy wizard with a pointy hat?

I start imagining how he'd look _without_ that outfit on.

Oh no, time to abort that mission. I look over at Penny instead.

I don't want to see _her_ naked. Not that there's something wrong with her, she's beautiful. But she's also my best friend. I don't feel _that_ way towards her.

Not that I feel it towards anyone else, _anyone at all_.

“Of course you’d think that, Simon.” Penny shakes her head and takes a sip of her tea.

I have no idea what she means by that.

“Why would you even want to see that movie?” I ask, taking another bite of my scone, shoving half of it in my mouth at once. Penny rolls her eyes at me.

When there is a shortage of food around you every summer, you pick up a few habits. Penny doesn’t understand. None of these rich magicians will ever understand. (They all have homes and food.)

“First of all, that is a cinematic masterpiece and it's _iconic_ ,” she tells me.

I nod, trying not to roll _my_ eyes.

Nerds running around in the future or on some faraway star with teddy bears isn’t a masterpiece. That sounds like a nighttime story for a nursery. Age 0 to 5.

Unless Penny has become one of those _hipsters_. It's a new breed of people. Obnoxiously ironic and obsessed with everything that is absolutely useless.

Because someone needs to be interested in a fanny pack, I guess.

They look ridiculous. Except maybe not, if it was Baz wearing one. He doesn't even have to do it _ironically_.

If he were to walk around with a fanny pack, a long lumberjack-meets-father-Christmas beard, shaved head and possibly a pair of glittery joggers to complete the look.

I mean he'd still be the fittest bloke at this school. And on Baz everything looks good.

He pulls it all off, a pair of red cowboy boots not excluded. I wonder if Baz ever dresses like a cowboy...

“Besides, it’s filled with useful spells,” Penny continues but I'm only listening partially to her, imagining Baz in a pair of red boots.

She's giving me a lecture on 18th century spells, I think.

”While the Mage is giving us useless Normal books to study that Normals themselves don’t read,” Penny says disapprovingly. “I am going on the offence and armouring myself with _good_ spells.”

Well, that's a different story altogether.

One should never try to keep Penelope Bunce from anything she considers useful _magickally_. She has no quorum cursing people.

My best friend is very cool, despite the fact that she seems to like Star Wars and possibly fanny packs.

I close my eyes and imagine Baz in one, and wearing the red boots and nothing else, possibly a pair of heart-shaped nipple tassels too. He’d look nice.

Baz is his own brand of fit. No one can compare.

He’s like a star, the nicest and poshest of them all. The _moon_ — a flawless beauty, that is too far to reach.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. 💙


End file.
